- the secret you
- the private you
- the personal you and
- the public you.
When I read this I wondered how I would describe the four Wyns!
The secret Wyn
The only person who ever gets to meet Secret Wyn is Wyn. Other people might think they know Secret Wyn but they don’t. Secret Wyn is me at my most authentic, raw and unfiltered; it’s when nobody’s watching Wyn. Secret Wyn is the person I live with 24/7 and not always someone I like. In fact, sometimes Secret Wyn drives me nuts; often as a result of my over-thinking, feelings of inadequacy and failure. God knows the secret Wyn, and that’s ok with me. It’s ok that certain things, maybe secrets, are only known by Wyn and God.
The private Wyn
Typically, only a select few get to meet Private Wyn.More often than not, it’s only one person at any given time and in most cases, that person is Angharad, my wife. The person who gets to know private Wyn is privileged, because I am showing great trust and allowing myself to be vulnerable. This is both terrifying and exhilarating. Private Wyn looks for connection, communication and intimacy (be that physical, emotional or both) and unless I live in a bubble, there’s every chance that private Wyn will have his heart ripped out at some stage. Sadly, it happens.
The personal Wyn
My friends and family typically have access to this version of me. Personal Wyn is generally quite likable but also more calculating, discerning and measured in conversation and interaction than private Wyn. Personal Wyn is still authentic and honest but only to the point where I believe my authenticity and honesty will be respected and appreciated. In Personal Wyn mode, it’s often what I don’t say (rather than what I do) that reveals the most about me.
The public Wyn
The public Wyn is sometimes referred to as the Wyn Show. Someone who looks like Wyn but quite often, isn’t. We all have a public ‘switch’ that flicks on in certain situations, conversations and environments. While Public Wyn might be somewhat self-conscious, nervous and even awkward at times, there are also times when Public Wyn is funny, interesting, generous, courageous and kind.
For some people, their public persona is a total fraud; an illusion designed to create some kind of impression, statement or distraction. I hope this does not describe me. This role-playing happens for a range of reasons, but invariably it comes down to fear, insecurity and a desire to be liked, loved and wanted.
So who is the real Wyn? I thought at first that it was probably the private Wyn. However in reality I believe its probably a healthy mix of all four!
How would you summarise the 4 yous?