Archives For Wyn Jones

The 4 mes

August 23, 2015 — Leave a comment

Untitled designIt’s been said that we all have several versions of us. The four people we are made up of are described as

  • the secret you
  • the private you
  • the personal you and
  • the public you.

When I read this I wondered how I would describe the four Wyns!

 

The secret Wyn 

The only person who ever gets to meet Secret Wyn is Wyn. Other people might think they know Secret Wyn but they don’t. Secret Wyn is me at my most authentic, raw and unfiltered; it’s when nobody’s watching Wyn. Secret Wyn is the person I live with 24/7 and not always someone I like. In fact, sometimes Secret Wyn drives me nuts; often as a result of my over-thinking, feelings of inadequacy and failure. God knows the secret Wyn, and that’s ok with me. It’s ok that certain things, maybe secrets, are only known by Wyn and God.

 

The private Wyn

Typically, only a select few get to meet Private Wyn.More often than not, it’s only one person at any given time and in most cases, that person is Angharad, my wife. The person who gets to know private Wyn is privileged, because I am showing great trust and allowing myself to be vulnerable. This is both terrifying and exhilarating. Private Wyn looks for connection, communication and intimacy (be that physical, emotional or both) and unless I live in a bubble, there’s every chance that private Wyn will have his heart ripped out at some stage. Sadly, it happens.

The personal Wyn

 

My friends and family typically have access to this version of me.  Personal Wyn is generally quite likable but also more calculating, discerning and measured in conversation and interaction than private Wyn. Personal Wyn is still authentic and honest but only to the point where I believe my authenticity and honesty will be respected and appreciated. In Personal Wyn mode, it’s often what I don’t say (rather than what I do) that reveals the most about me.

 

The public Wyn

The public Wyn is sometimes referred to as the Wyn Show. Someone who looks like Wyn but quite often, isn’t. We all have a public ‘switch’ that flicks on in certain situations, conversations and environments. While Public Wyn might be somewhat self-conscious, nervous and even awkward at times, there are also times when Public Wyn is funny, interesting, generous, courageous and kind.

For some people, their public persona is a total fraud; an illusion designed to create some kind of impression, statement or distraction. I hope this does not describe me. This role-playing happens for a range of reasons, but invariably it comes down to fear, insecurity and a desire to be liked, loved and wanted.

So who is the real Wyn? I thought at first that it was probably the private Wyn. However in reality I believe its probably a healthy mix of all four!

How would you summarise the 4 yous?

As I reflect on over 35 years of running a business that specialises in giving Independent Financial Advice, I am reminded of how important attending the annual Million Dollar Round Table (MDRT) meeting has been to me. MDRT is the Premier Association for Financial Professionals and I write this note as I sit in Heathrow Terminal 5 on my way to the 2015 annual meeting.

The conference is jam packed with sessions and seminars led by some of the world’s top speakers, authors and leaders. Listening to innovative thinkers, successful practitioners and inspirational achievers gives me new and global perspectives, ideas to implement and motivation to improve and develop. Attending these meetings is an investment that has given me direction, kept me future focused and fueled me to keep going during times that were so tough I could have given in.

Once again I am looking forward to learning from the best in their feelings being a part of a multicultural crowd of 10,000 others who have chosen to invest in their personal development. My hope is that I will return a better person with improved skills, greater knowledge and a better understanding of the next steps to take. My goal is that this will all cascade down to making the iPlanning team that I work with better able to serve our growing client bank.

It’s a privilege to attend these meetings and a quote from Jim Rohn comes to mind.

“The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me.’”

This post first appeared on www.i-planning.co.uk

Numbers

April 29, 2015 — Leave a comment

It is easy to underestimate the power of putting a number on an objective or goal that is financial. This is highlighted in a classic book on retirement planning by Lee Eisenberg appropriately called “The Number”! (See book review)

Leaving financial goals without a number and a time frame is more likely to contribute to disappointment than celebration.

One of the tools most widely used by us in helping people become financially organised and ultimately independent, is  a form titled “Identifying freedom funds”. You can download a free copy from this site.

Don’t give in to the temptation of postponing completing such a form until you think you have the resources to do so! Filling in the form is the way to make certain that resources will become available! The words of a mentor of mine are ringing in my ears:

“Rather than say – when I have plenty of money it, the reality is, – when I begin managing it, I will have plenty of money!”

So without delay, download the form and start working on the numbers. If you find the form useful, email me and let me know.

Real People

January 16, 2015 — Leave a comment

In my recent reading of mind stretching books, the kind that I hope makes me a better student of people and a better leader, I came across a quote that I found very helpful.

 “The key is to think less about the ideal behaviour of imaginary people and more about the actual behaviour of real people. Real people are much more unpredictable.”

I sometimes wish regulators and writers of examination papers recognised this. I have sat many an examination where part of the paper contained what we describe as case studies. A so called typical scenario is painted and questions then asked about the advice that should be delivered. In other words we have to move into an imaginary world, with ideal clients and give textbook answers.

I have spent far more time over the last 35 years sitting in front of clients or perspective clients, some of whom no examiner, no matter how much he or she would use their imagination could create a case study from!

The actual needs, behaviour and responses of clients are often very removed from textbook case studies and the minds of pen pushing people. People removed from the furnace of client meetings where solutions are forged.

The remark in the quote that real people are much more unpredictable, brought a smile to my face and also reminded me about why what we do is so exiting and varied.

If the world was filled with imaginary people behaving ideally and reacting predictably, then there would be no need for people like me. Everyone’s needs could be met by flowcharts, but we know that they can’t be.

Masterclass

December 12, 2014 — Leave a comment

I was treated to a masterclass in networking on my way home from Toronto. I’ve read books and listened to world class speakers and experts on networking but learnt more in an hour of seeing a master at work in Terminal 5 at Heathrow airport. Surprisingly for a modern, international, state of the art airport the facilities to charge laptops and mobile devices are woeful. Nevertheless I found a charging station and sat down to take my turn to give my iPhone a boost, only 3 sockets and two USB slots that were not working.

As I sat waiting, I noticed a tall gentleman engaging in conversation with someone to my right. He would get up to check the progress of charge on his mobile device and when he saw others trying to use the USB slots he gently informed them that they didn’t work. He would then offer them a chance to boost their device batteries by letting them use his adapter. During this hour or so he had engaged many people in conversation, learned something about them, made a note of their email addresses or exchanged business cards.

I was one of those people with whom he had struck up a conversation. He wanted to know which book I was reading and then after a very short period of time we knew a lot about one another and both felt enriched from having had the conversation. I reflected on what I’d observed and experienced during that hour and note the following.

  • He took the initiative in starting the conversation.
  • He took a genuine interest in the people he engaged.
  • He made the most of an opportunity to help others.
  • He asked for contact details to keep in touch.
  • He had a notebook at hand to record those details.

By the time I left that charging station I was helping people charge their phones by letting them use my adapter, I was engaging with people who I would not otherwise have engaged. During the final conversation I had with Ramesh, another lady and a movie maker, we realised that in that small group of people

  • we knew someone who knew Einstein
  • one of us would be attending a party hosted by Michael Jordan
  • one of us knew the hero of another and
  • one of us had had a conversation with someone whose friend had dated the founder of Google!

All because of Ramesh a master of networking at work. Watching Ramesh at work was an eyeopener and an encounter that I learnt so much from. Thanks Ramesh

This post first appeared on www.i-planning.co.uk

A leader’s leader

November 28, 2014 — Leave a comment

Bill Hybels

When the opportunity came to listen to Bill Hybels “live” and not on cassette tape or a video recorder I jumped at the chance. The three days conference I attended in The Cardiff Arena was a turning point in my life.

I left the conference with renewed vision, restored belief and a recognition of the immense responsibility that leaders have no matter what sphere of life they are called on to stand up as leaders.

Since then I have listened and listened to his talks on cd, read the books he writes and attended nearly any conference he speaks at.

There are men you get to respect and admire more than others and Bill Hybels stands apart as a leader of leaders.

Some of the things that stand out for me when I think of Bill Hybels are:

  • His ability to connect as well as communicate

Although he would not regard speaking and teaching as his prime gifting, he captures my attention with his insights and wisdom.

  • His authenticity

His willingness to share his failures and mistakes openly has been an encouragement not a discouragement to tens of thousands of leaders. Vulnerability is a result of being so honest and authentic, and he has been willing to be vulnerable which has made him “real” in the eyes of his peers.

  • His amazing passion

You can’t fail to know what is important to him because of his passion for the things he cares about. His passion for developing diligent leaders, his passion for the church as a community that can change the world and that being far from God is a position to avoid!

I’m careful who I attach the word mentor to! I have no problem in attaching the word mentor to Bill Hybels.

Check out two of his books on Amazon “Courageous leadership” and “Axiom’s”

Ant Lessons

September 17, 2014 — Leave a comment
Ant

Image by Jarrod Scott. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/

As I was typing a short quote in my twitter box, I couldn’t help hearing Jim Rohn sharing the lessons we can learn from the ant! Those lessons are too long for tweeting – hence the blog!

The tweet that triggered the voice of Jim Rohn in my mind was:

“Dig your well before you need the water”

Jim Rohn believed we could learn four important lessons from the ant. They are:

1. Ants never quit. That’s a good philosophy. If they’re headed somewhere and you try to stop them, they’ll look for another way.

They’ll climb over, they’ll climb under, and they’ll climb around. They keep looking for another way. Big lesson! To never quit looking for a way to get where you’re supposed to go.

2. Ants think winter all summer. That’s an important perspective. You can’t be so naive as to think summer will last forever. So ants are gathering their winter food in the middle of summer.

An ancient story says, “Don’t build your house on the sand in the summer.” Why do we need that advice? Because it is important to be realistic. In the summer, you’ve got to think storm. You’ve got to think rocks as you enjoy the sand and sun. Think ahead.

3. Ants think summer all winter. That is so important. During the winter, ants remind themselves, “This won’t last long; we’ll soon be out of here.” And the first warm day, the ants are out. If it turns cold again, they’ll dive back down, but then they come out the first warm day. They can’t wait to get out.They don’t lose hope because they know as sure as day follows night that spring and summer follow winter.

4. Ants do all they possibly can when they can. How much will an ant gather during the summer to prepare for the winter? All he possibly can. What an incredible work ethic, the “all-you-possibly-can” plan.

Learning these lessons from the ant could help businesses survive recessions, families cope with difficult times and all of us achieve more than we would if we ignored these lessons!

So, go on, re read the lessons, write them on a card so you can refer to them often and let them inspire you to -“Dig your well before you need the water”.

 

Foots reflection in the water

 

Sometimes I come across people who seem to have their act together to such an extent that I imagine that they don’t have to do the basics any more. They don’t need to make daily choices that are difficult. They’ve arrived. These people could walk on water if that’s what was needed.

 
I was reminded this morning that even these water walkers are not free from making daily choices if they are to stay on track. The choices that were brought to my attention were:
 
  • When life gets really busy and the needs of others are crowding in on me then a deliberate choice to find a place of solitude needs to be made.
  • When seemingly legitimate distractions demand my attention I need to intentionally remain true to my purpose or calling.
  • When I have a big task ahead of me, my best tactic is to chose a team to help me.
 
These reminders were found in a record of a life lived two centuries ago. These records refer to what Jesus had to pay attention to.Therefore it would be foolish on my part to ignore his example.

 

finishline

Image courtesy of vichie81 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As always, along with a new year comes talk of a new beginning, a fresh start or a second chance. With this I’m reminded of a talk I gave a few years ago titled “The finishing line is ahead”. Recognising this, the direction we run in order to arrive at the finishing line becomes of paramount importance. The obvious encouragement for everyone as we enter a new year must be to face forward. How else will we progress towards our goal? However in my experience too many people are facing backwards even though they know the finishing line is ahead.

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Ideacide

June 23, 2014 — Leave a comment

ideacide

I came across a word that I hadn’t heard before the other day. It has a definition so I assume it can be found in modern day dictionaries!

Ideacide, n. The killing of an idea by person or persons in a corporate setting.”

I think ideacideis a condition that is found in many more places than merely corporate settings. It’s a condition you can spot in organizations large and small. In churches, families, clubs and societies.

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